Escape Plan

Genre: Action/Thriller

Directed: Mikael Hafstrom 

Starring: Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger

Running: 116 mins

This review is not based on how old our protagonist is and how atrocious the movie is and why it is 30 years too late. In fact Escape Plan is surprisingly entertaining, however, if you will allow me to refer back to one of two leading stars; big Sly Stallone who may as well be having a dump for 100 mins because staring at his feces would prove more exciting than the dull performance he unfortunately leads.

All roads lead to this. Escape Plan is the result of The Expendables (and sequel). 

Ray Breslin is the messiah of structural security. This beefcake has seen many prisons, both inside and out because he has the most peculiar job of all in testing the security of various prisons in order to make them escape proof. Worried (for some reason) that prisoners are not been kept behind the tightest security, Ray's criteria is that of a hitman or a plumber, except each prison escape is worth a big pay cheque. The result of such escape is to grant national security some feedback on how to pump up their boundaries. They say Ray is the best in the world with fifteen prisons failing to keep him behind bars. However one prison is bound to go against him, right? Home to major criminals and Rottmayer (Arnie) The Tomb is one prison that is off the grid. So off the grid and so very dangerous that Ray can't resist the offer. 

Ray awakens in a technological and maze like environment. The prison sets the plot of escape, featuring a "partner", a "bad guy" and a "twist". Ring a bell?

The movie's villain is Hobbs (Jim Caviezel). Hobbs controls the entire prison and is hell-bent on maintaining Ray Breslin. Ray begins to realise he may have been set up on a road of no return, therefore seeking the help of Rottmayer, leading to the match up we have all been waiting for. 

Escape Plan is yet another attempted 80's throwback when Sly and Arnie dominated bloody masculinity. Escape Plan is not exactly that but it does resemble a certain Tango and Cash for obvious reasons. The on-screen chemistry from both Sly and Arnie is terrible and non-existent but the action scenes are satisfying. One can't complain when it comes to both stars standing side by side hosting a handgun each. Arnie to be fare is clearly desperate to revive his action hero status and does so in this return to form. Arnie's character Rottmayer is the legs and arms of this movie. His presence still holds up and respectively keeps this film from falling flat on its face; he is funny, violent and, well, Arnie. The same can't be said for Sly who advertises a dull character in Ray Breslin. We are not looking for anything spectacular from the man, and while I was generous in my review for Bullet to the Head, Sly is down right poor this time around with a boring character proving hard to like from the very beginning. Unfortunately for Sly we seek Arnie's appearance as soon as the title of the movie appears. 

Overall: Escape Plan is an entertaining meat-head-fest that offers a decent plot with a decent match up. However Sly's presence proved significantly poor, leaving all the work to Arnie. A better movie than The Last Stand, and not quite as nonsensical as The Expendables, one will enjoy it for what it is -a plan of escape with two ageing hero's.