Escape Plan

Genre: Action/Thriller

Directed: Mikael Hafstrom 

Starring: Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger

Running: 116 mins

This review is not based on how old our protagonist is and how atrocious the movie is and why it is 30 years too late. In fact Escape Plan is surprisingly entertaining, however, if you will allow me to refer back to one of two leading stars; big Sly Stallone who may as well be having a dump for 100 mins because staring at his feces would prove more exciting than the dull performance he unfortunately leads.

All roads lead to this. Escape Plan is the result of The Expendables (and sequel). 

Ray Breslin is the messiah of structural security. This beefcake has seen many prisons, both inside and out because he has the most peculiar job of all in testing the security of various prisons in order to make them escape proof. Worried (for some reason) that prisoners are not been kept behind the tightest security, Ray's criteria is that of a hitman or a plumber, except each prison escape is worth a big pay cheque. The result of such escape is to grant national security some feedback on how to pump up their boundaries. They say Ray is the best in the world with fifteen prisons failing to keep him behind bars. However one prison is bound to go against him, right? Home to major criminals and Rottmayer (Arnie) The Tomb is one prison that is off the grid. So off the grid and so very dangerous that Ray can't resist the offer. 

Ray awakens in a technological and maze like environment. The prison sets the plot of escape, featuring a "partner", a "bad guy" and a "twist". Ring a bell?

The movie's villain is Hobbs (Jim Caviezel). Hobbs controls the entire prison and is hell-bent on maintaining Ray Breslin. Ray begins to realise he may have been set up on a road of no return, therefore seeking the help of Rottmayer, leading to the match up we have all been waiting for. 

Escape Plan is yet another attempted 80's throwback when Sly and Arnie dominated bloody masculinity. Escape Plan is not exactly that but it does resemble a certain Tango and Cash for obvious reasons. The on-screen chemistry from both Sly and Arnie is terrible and non-existent but the action scenes are satisfying. One can't complain when it comes to both stars standing side by side hosting a handgun each. Arnie to be fare is clearly desperate to revive his action hero status and does so in this return to form. Arnie's character Rottmayer is the legs and arms of this movie. His presence still holds up and respectively keeps this film from falling flat on its face; he is funny, violent and, well, Arnie. The same can't be said for Sly who advertises a dull character in Ray Breslin. We are not looking for anything spectacular from the man, and while I was generous in my review for Bullet to the Head, Sly is down right poor this time around with a boring character proving hard to like from the very beginning. Unfortunately for Sly we seek Arnie's appearance as soon as the title of the movie appears. 

Overall: Escape Plan is an entertaining meat-head-fest that offers a decent plot with a decent match up. However Sly's presence proved significantly poor, leaving all the work to Arnie. A better movie than The Last Stand, and not quite as nonsensical as The Expendables, one will enjoy it for what it is -a plan of escape with two ageing hero's. 

Bullet To The Head

Following the mediocre return of Arnold in my Last Stand review, Sylvester Stallone has never really dispersed. Bullet to the Head is a fine throwback to 80s action movies.

James Bonomo (Sylvester Stallone) is an experienced hit-man. He is given the opportunity to avenge his partners death through Taylor Kwon (Sung Kang); Washington D.C cop looking to nail the same enemy. That enemy is Keegan (Jason Momoa) a ruthless handy man for Robert Morel (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje). 

Morel is head of a crime family who is known to have cops and judges under his payroll. However, it is the gruesome death of James's partner that leads to a portrayal of violence, as James and Taylor begin to wipe the gang off the map, one by one in typical Stallone fashion. 

Walter Hill's latest is pretty straightforward, re-creating a genre of movie that fantastically resembles the 80s retro theme. With very little to the plot but revenge, Stallone leads the way in fantastic shape, promoting a high level of violence, with fight scenes such as the massage parlour going down in epic fashion. Each scene is played out with typical buddy-cop interactions, with a routine chemistry similar to Walter's 48hrs (but fails to blend on occasions).

It was great to see Stallone on screen following Arnold's recurrence, taking me back to the bones of his career. The Last Stand failed to that for me. Sure, we could say that Stallone has a bigger modern day catalogue, but his presence on screen, along with his physical shape is overwhelming. We know Stallone fancies the violence, e.g Rambo (2008) and The Expendables, but the latest serves him well because he ain't directing anybody behind the scenes. Walter Hill, who comes with a serious amount of experience has taken Sly on board and made a good-guy bad-guy throw back to an era we know all too well. The retro theme tunes, fight scenes, iconic heartless bad guy and yes, one or two humorous quotes. And Taylor Kwon - who wasn't too bad either. 

Bullet to the Head is surprisingly enjoyable. It is weird because Stallone looks awful in some, yet terrific in others. Walter Hill mashed up all the pros of 80s action, some cons (bad actors) and ran with it. 

Overall: From modern day crap to 80s nostalgia, Walter Hill revives a genre of action that consistently proves forgetting your brain ain't such a bad thing. Bullet to the Head is a joy to watch, with Stallone starring in his best film since Cop Land.

7/10

Related material: Read up on more Sly Stallone with The Expendables 2 review.